My Arizona Rant


Guess what, folks! I’m famous! I was mentioned in an article written by gawker.com. Sure, I wasn’t mentioned by name, but the thought was there. I am one of those old, angry white people who caused Arizona’s “Worst state” listing. What’s gawker.com? Don’t worry. I don’t know who they are, either, and won’t remember them much past the time it takes to write this blog. But, that’s because the heat is obviously cooking my brain, as we speak. This is why I am so angry, after all. It has nothing to do with the stupidity of people who have nothing better to write about. At least I have an excuse.

The other given reasons are SB1070, Jan Brewer, and Joe Arpaio. I am now going to write an article about why the U.S. must be the worst country. After all, our economy is in the tank and our government leaders are more interested in playing games and one-upping each other, than showing any leadership quality. Thank God, the endearing qualities of a country or a state aren’t solely based on the ridiculous antics of its government. Otherwise, much of Europe would be screwed.

I am an Arizona native. Except for the heat of the centralized “Easy Bake Oven” I cannot imagine living anywhere else. While I have known people who have gone, many come back saying they just couldn’t stay away. As a nature lover, this is the place I want to be able to spend my days. Even the article gave Arizona credit for that.

But, what is the problem with Arizona? That’s easy. Out-of-staters. I’m not necessarily speaking of snowflakes…er…birds….either. Granted they don’t know how to keep up with traffic (although, you would think after a few years of snowbirding that would be figured out), they congest our golf courses, public events, and make our summer discounts go away. In reality, I have met a number of wonderful snowbirds. Some I even miss during the summer time.

The ones I am speaking of are those who escape from another state, then spend their time complaining about what’s wrong with mine. Just like any family member, I can pick on it, but if you do, you’re dealing with me. It never makes sense. Why be here if you hate it so much? You’re just taking up my golf course space and taking my summer discount rates, without appreciation.

As for this amazing team of wanna-be investigative reporters, the least worst state? Of course, the state they are located in – New York. Why? Because, they embrace gay rights. That’s what I would base my whole criteria on. Never mind New York City’s bad traffic, bad attitude, high crime rate, being the headquarters for the United Nations and that it smells funny. After all, if people are going to have such a limited view of what Arizona is, I can easily return the favor.

This angry, old white person is now signing out to fry an egg on my driveway or start soup in my pool for tonight’s dinner. Keep cool. Summer can’t last forever.

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Published in: on August 31, 2011 at 3:31 pm  Comments (3)  
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