I left Mr. Greene. No reason. I was bored one day, went for a drive, and saw a house for rent. So I moved. At first, he thought I was just Spring Cleaning. I do this a few times a year. Every time there seems like a seasonal change, I start packing things up into boxes, washing down the house, dusting the window sills, and vacuuming the cat. With Arizona’s weather this happens about six times in the Winter/Spring months and four times during the Oh God, Please Help Us/End of Summer season.

I found the perfect little house. It’s in a nice neighborhood. We also get to stay in our community, so I won’t miss the latest gossip. We have a yard big enough for a real garden. (Yes, Ms. Black Thumb is feeling adventurous, again) and a swimming pool. I figure while I backwash the swimming pool, I can also water the garden. It’s everything I want in a house. Little woodland creatures even come to my door just to listen to me sing as I put out the laundry. Well, they are really more snakes and turkey vultures that I see and I think they’re actually running away. But, I do sing.

But, that sly one. Mr. Greene followed me. One day I was bringing in a load from the house. I thought he had gone to the golf course for his morning exercise, but I found him standing in my brand new kitchen cooking up breakfast. It was the first time in years he had made breakfast.

So, I took half and let him stay. I needed someone to help pay the rent, anyway.

Published in: on February 23, 2012 at 9:44 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Breaking News: Pinal County Sheriff is Outed

Guess what! If you haven’t already heard, Pinal County Sheriff, Paul Babeu, is gay! When I first heard about it, I thought, “Wonderful! We have something in common. So am I!” Oh! Not that kind of gay?

So, the man isn’t holding a press conference because someone called him out on being incredibly happy. Sheriff Babeu is a homosexual. Does that change what he has done with his career or who he is as a person? Did he awake the morning The New Times ran their story and decide he now needed to change his whole personality? I sure hope not. After all, who the hell cares?

Obviously, I care enough to write about it. But, that’s as far as it goes. Didn’t Lawrence v. Texas say it was perfectly legal to do whatever you want in your own bedroom? So, why is it such a big deal? Because the man is a Conservative? Is there a special templated checklist someone must check off in order to be Republican or Democrat? If so, I might have both parties screaming, “Old Adela belongs to you. No! She’s all yours! Can we just toss her over to the Libertarians? They’ll never notice. They’re probably too busy smoking, anyhow.” After all, if we want to put everyone into their own little political cubby of what they should be like….

If Sheriff Babeu had been a Democrat nothing would have been said. It would have been a shrug or, “So? I thought so all along?” But, because he doesn’t fit into that perfect little mold, it’s supposed to be shocking and controversial.

Which brings me to his personal life. We have gotten so much into this reality television and tabloid way of life that we need to know everything about someone’s personal life, just because we know their name. There was a time that personal meant personal. If someone was an actor or a politician, we focused on their performance or how they did their job. Not what goes on behind closed doors. After all, my co-workers didn’t know every detail of my life. Heck! I don’t even know every detail of my life.

So, that’s my rant for the day. I was going to catch you up with all the sordid details of my personal life, since October, but I saw this on the news and wanted to get my thoughts on this out of the way, first.

Be back Wednesday.

Published in: on February 20, 2012 at 9:12 pm  Comments (1)  
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Seven Ways to Waste Your Friday Afternoon

Do you work at a mind numbing office job? Did the excitement of last weekend’s three days off make the four day work week drag on longer than overtime in Hell?

Good news! There is hope on the horizon. No. You are not going to start working from home and setting your own crazy schedule. Then, you’d be me and have no reason to read this.

One of the most entertaining things about beating the Friday “I wanna leave” blues is to entertain yourself with a little creativity. Of course, too much creativity could give you a permanent vacation.

(1) Organize Your Life Your desk. Your computer files. Read through each email you have saved since 2006.

(2) Talk to a co-worker. Make sure you approach the situation with an, “I need your help on this project” kind of attitude. After your initial questioning is done, linger a few minutes –or an hour — longer. If a supervisor comes by, revert back to your original question.

(3) Linger around the break room. You aren’t lingering. You’re cleaning up. Why aren’t you working? Someone had to get rid of the science projects in the fridge.

(4) Write random email to your co-workers. Make the subject lines are work related, but the content might look more like a random collection of puzzles and bad jokes.

(5) Call for an impromptu meeting If you are in a management position, instead of a cog, this works better. Call for a meeting that really has no point. You know everyone else is likely to be planning their weekend already, so it really doesn’t matter what you say. Just so long as it’s in an authoritative, monotone voice. Channel Ben Stein and you’re set.

(6) Schedule a business lunch Not only do you get out of the office and get to eat, the company is picking up the tab. You also look like you’re doing something important.

(7)Facebook or blog Unless it’s blocked, we all know you’re Facebooking during business hours anyhow. Your boss is probably Facebooking more than you are. That’s why he’s passed his workload onto you, after all.
The problem will be convincing the powers-that-be that you are actually conducting research, in order to tweak the marketing strategy of your company. Especially challenging if marketing is not your department and you know someone will expect to see the finished product.

Or, maybe you plan on actually working. An odd concept, but doable. Just smile and think that you get to sleep in tomorrow. Unless, you have that dreaded overtime. Then, we’ll talk later.

Published in: on September 9, 2011 at 5:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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