Smoking Hot Dogs!

Hot dogs can kill you! That was the finding of a report released a couple of weeks ago by a group of “let’s promote the vegan life-style” doctors. No agenda there. I am sure they just have our best interests at heart and are really worried that some of us might be smoking a few packs of hot dogs a day. Why else would they claim hot dogs are as deadly as smoking cigarettes?

If you are vegetarian, vegan, or have a diet that says you are only allowed to eat dirt during certain cycles of the moon, bon apetit. Just don’t tell me what I am allowed to eat or try to make me feel guilty, because a cute animal ended up on my plate.

Did you ever once ask anyone what they thought of those cute teeny baby vegetables? The tiny ears of corn, baby carrots, etc.? Those are also living creatures. Plants have feelings, too!!

That’s what I want to see. Instead of ad campaigns telling people why they should feel guilty for eating meat, I want to see one against the cruel practice of eating vegetables. Have you ever heard the screams of a potato when it’s in the microwave? That is not a happy whistle. It’s the same sound a bunny makes when it’s scared for its life. Only the sound is coming from a potato.

If we are only supposed to be worried about cute and cuddly animals and don’t really care about the feelings of the plants, then what are you doing taking food out of these innocent animals’ mouths? They can’t just walk their tails down to the corner grocery store and pick up their own produce. Because of health code violations, many of them are not employable, so have no money to join produce co-ops. They have to go by their wits and what they can find. Even if you have a garden of your own, if you don’t invite them to partake in the fruits of your labor, you’re just part of the problem.

Offended yet? A bit too silly and extreme? That’s how I see “Meat is cruel” ads and studies, like the above. Seriously, who really eats a hot dog a day? It’s summer. I believe I ate a hot dog last week. One, out of the whole summer. Maybe it will increase my chances of cancer. Maybe waking up in the morning and breathing too deeply will also increase the chances of cancer.

I had a lovely aunt who died a couple of years ago, at the age of 96, from bladder cancer. Did she sit down and make a laundry list of what may have caused it? No. If she had not died because of that, she would have eventually died of something else down the road. She was 96 years old, after all. The fact is, we are all eventually going to die from something.

We can moan, complain, feel guilty and worry ourselves sick about every little morsel or we can enjoy our food and being alive today. If you enjoy eating only vegetables or dirt, do so. If you’re a scientist, who has something worthy to share, I would like to hear it. Just don’t expect my world to stop because of what your studies found. Within a year, you’ll be telling me to light those smokies up, because they are better than dark chocolate.

Meanwhile, I know me and I know my body. Which means, I could really go for a steak about now. But, maybe I’ll just settle for a hot dog, instead.