Desert Firecrackers


My daddy used to say the desert heat of Arizona must fry people’s brains. Of course, he was speaking of how when Easterners came out here they seemed to forget how to cook. But, this stands out in other areas. Especially, politically. Then, again, I think it’s a requirement to have your brain fried, in order to be a modern-day politician, no matter which state you may call home.

Today’s topic is about Arizona’s most stupid recent law. Before the anti-gun and anti-SB1070 people get into their hootin’ and hollerin’ thinking ‘even that old broad gets it’, I’m not even touching those topics anymore than I would touch a fellow with open, oozing sores.

In my opinion, the most stupid recent law is making it legal for private citizens to shoot off fireworks.

As far back as I could remember fireworks had been completely illegal to buy and use in Arizona. People from out of state would sometimes voice feeling sorry for us that we couldn’t have the fun of personally causing explosions. Honestly, I never felt too terrible about it.

Perhaps it has something to do with being scared of fireworks for half my life. Then, again, as a child I was scared of anything that was too much for my fragile senses. This included cold pool water and the sound of sirens.

I quickly got over the fear of swimming and have since learned how to hold in the urge to cry whenever I hear the shriek of a siren. Fireworks? I now find them fascinating. The way I got over that fear was the first 4th of July celebration I ever attended with Mr. Greene. We stood under a palm tree and he kissed me throughout the whole fireworks demonstration. I have never been scared of fireworks again.

So, this last winter Arizona was hit by this foreign substance that makes many people run outside and dance around like they’re Gene Kelly. Rain. Yes. By golly! We saw rain. Gobs of it, too. Rain leads to plant growth. So the rumor goes. When the summer sun smiles too much on those pretty green plants, they soon turn to brown. This makes Arizona into a not-so-happy giant tinder box.

You can’t even let a match look at the dry and now thirsty shrubbery without it burning a few thousand acres. Yet, we have tents set up in every grocery store parking lot selling things that go *KABOOM*.

When the local university can’t even put on a fireworks display without stopping abruptly because they set the mountain on fire — Again, how are we supposed to expect a private citizen to safely set these off in their backyards?

Mr. Greene says this is really a great source of revenue for the state. First, the state gets the local sales tax from the sale of the fireworks. Then, there is the money for the fines when people shoot them off, since most of the cities in Arizona have said, “You can buy them. You just can’t use them in most of the state.” It’s almost better than the lottery. But, at least with the lottery you have a chance to win. Plus, you don’t run the risk of burning anything down.

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Published in: on June 30, 2011 at 4:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

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